Four Days To Go
The total pumped today is barely three quarters of an ounce. 0.75oz. That’s it. I’ve been two days without Domperidone and reduced my pump to 10 minutes. It’s a negligible amount to many, but it’s enough for me to save. It’s stored in the fridge, ready to be topped up with cows milk for tonight.
I’d wanted to continue pumping until Moo no longer wanted milk to drink at bedtime, but after several failed attempts, this isn’t happening any time soon. I’ve had enough of pumping. It sucks. It’s not a good way to start the day.
I’m very concerned that I’ll regret stopping when I look back at this in a few weeks time, particularly when I’m in a stronger place mentally. But a person can only do what feels right at the time. The community mental health team doctor has recommended this and in a way it feels like I’ve been given permission to stop.
There’s one bag of milk left in the freezer. I’m tempted to leave it there forever as a momento. But why waste a bag of the good stuff for the sake of sentimentality? I’ll defrost it later, and use it up tomorrow.
Only four days to go and this chapter will be closed.