The News Fucks Me Up
It started as a teenager. The terrorist attacks, the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, George Bush and Tony Blair. I was consumed by it all. It was a difficult time for me anyway, the first serious bout of depression. I isolated myself, harmed myself and absorbed myself in current affairs.
Why I latched onto watching the news broadcasts I don’t know. I didn’t have the Internet at home at the time, but I’d tune in once the evening news shows started and watch late into the night. Perhaps seeing the devastation that others faced made my own issues seem insignificant? Maybe it gave me something else to focus on and become passionate about, rather than simply wallowing in my own self pity.
And then I just upset myself. Lying awake for hours, my conscious filled with scenes of war, neglected children, criminal mug shots.
I can see the pattern starting again now, and it’s reached another level with the use of social media. I can access the headlines 24/7. Missing people, online petitions, live news updates, weather warnings. I’m flicking between Twitter and Facebook to catch it all. I need to know the latest details, perhaps I’ll be there when the case is solved or the child found.
It almost becomes a compulsion. Just another idiosyncrasy to add to the pile. My over active mind is like a monster that needs to be constantly fed. More thoughts, more information, links, images, tweets.
What I wouldn’t give for a thought free, day dreaming moment.