Losing Friends

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I’m sure a lot of other mamas, and even fathers, can relate to this. It’s just another thing that drastically changes once your baby arrives.

I didn’t have lots of friends before Moo, but there were a handful that I counted as good ones. We’d text often, meet for breakfast when we could. We all had busy lives, some at university, many living and working in other local towns.

I was the first to ‘settle down’ and start a family. At first your friends are excited. You text them the scan photos, they ask about names, want to touch the bump, buy some cute outfits. But gradually, they drift away.

I’m not sure why. Perhaps they just don’t relate to your life anymore? Spending time with children isn’t what they want to be doing, they’re just not that interested. I have friends that haven’t even met Moo. Which is their loss, she’s a legend. Perhaps they think that being a mother is all you are now. They don’t realise that you still like to go out, clothes shop, drink coffee and watch reality TV. All the things that you did before. You don’t stop existing as a person once you begin breeding.

Maybe it’s the crazy that scared them off? Immediately after Moo was born I went pretty nuts. I didn’t want visitors with gifts, I couldn’t handle the smiling faces talking about how lovely she was. I didn’t leave the house until she was 12 weeks old. Maybe they took that rejection to heart, not understanding my traumatic birth experience or the post natal depression. Why would they? The whole world of parenting is so alien to them.

Fortunately, I’ve made lots of new friends, my ‘mummy’ friends, the ones who ‘get it’ if I can’t come out to play because Moo is ill. They’ve accepted my mental health issues, they lift me up when I’m having a down day. There are some people that have always been there, and I’m pretty sure they always will be. It’s all about quality, not quantity.

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Posted on January 5, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. It’s so very true that your friendship circle grows, decreases and distorts when you become a mummy. There are some true non-parent pals out there who truly try to understand but never will quite ‘get’ it all though, bless em. I’ve made some fab friends through playgroups over the last 4 years 🙂

  2. Not all friendships are designed to last a lifetime, and it’s perfectly normal to move on to different friend groups as your life changes. Interestingly enough, you may end up back in contact with some of those that have currently dropped out of your life, as your life changes again. Moo won’t be little forever, and your lives and friendships will continue to evolve. 🙂

  3. Depression and motherhood can be so lonely, friends are so important to have. Xxx

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