I don’t really know where I’m going with the pumping thing now. I’m just floating aimlessly. I’ve always had goals until now. At first it was to pump until I dried up (which I was told was inevitable after a few weeks – whatever!), then six months, then a year, and then the WHO recommendation of two years. I hit two years and just carried on. Why stop then? Moo still drank milk and I was still making it. It just made sense.
Moo is fast approaching two and a half. But that doesn’t seem a significant enough milestone to stop at. Perhaps three? I’ve always felt empowered with pumping, I’ve liked the targets, the challenge of beating my personal best. But three seems a long way off, and for the first time, I don’t know if I can be bothered to continue for that long.
I almost forgot I needed to pump this morning. I no longer get the feeling of full breasts, so it wasn’t there as a reminder. It wasn’t until I started preparing to run a bath that I remembered. And for a split second, I considered not doing it. I wondered how long it’d be before I felt engorged. Maybe I never would and that’d be it, over. Would that make me sad? Or would it be freeing?
I don’t know how an exclusive pumper makes the decision to stop, or a breastfeeding mother for that matter. Do you just ‘know’ when the time is right? How did you decide it was the right time to stop? Did you ever regret the decision? How did you wean yourself off the pump? I feel like maybe that time is getting close, but I don’t think my stubbornness will let me give in.