I Could Cry

I could weep for a thousand years tonight, an ocean of sorrow. I could cry until there was nothing left of my body, it would just dehydrate, crumble and die.

I so wish I could breastfeed. It seems such a simple wish. I wasn’t asking for much, just for the simple, natural, nurturing, loving, beautiful act of breastfeeding. I feel robbed. Who can I blame? Who stole the experience from me? What did I do to be denied it? Why do others get to breastfeed baby after baby and I got nothing. It’s making me bitter. At times I resent breast feeders. How dare you flaunt pictures of your darling breastfeeding babe. Can’t you see I’m broken? I’m becoming an awful, awful person.

Please Lord, take this grief away.


Posted on September 19, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I’m sure you’re doing a great job of expressing and your baby’s still getting the benefits. And so are you too. I breastfed for a few weeks. No more due to hellp syndrome, being nil by mouth and doing all the things you shouldn’t do – not enough fluid, no food etc… I was a bit gutted at first but then realised how lucky I was to still be here. Cliche but oh so true. Stay a strong pumping mama.

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