I wish I’d blogged from the beginning, but I just didn’t have the mental capacity. It’d be wonderful to have moments documented, as a reminder, to help fill the gaps in my memory.
I’ve always kept journals, on and off from childhood. The first year of Moo’s life was so difficult, my mind was so frazzled, I don’t think I could have put pen to paper if I tried. It’s an escape, it’s free therapy. Instead of sobbing my heart out, I’d write through the tears, eventually feeling a sense of release. Paper can’t answer back, it can’t question you, doubt you or judge you. It’s an ever listening ear, reliable, trustworthy, open 24 hours a day.
I love that what was once a private rambling exercise has now become a way to reach out to people. I love connecting with other parents with similar struggles. Knowing you’re not alone is a huge comfort. I started this page as a way to discuss breastfeeding as much as I wanted, without pissing off friends that found it monotonous, irrelevant or ‘offensive’. But it’s become so much more to me.
I wonder if Moo will read these one day, and realise that her mum is a total fruit cake.