I wish I’d blogged from the beginning, but I just didn’t have the mental capacity. It’d be wonderful to have moments documented, as a reminder, to help fill the gaps in my memory.

I’ve always kept journals, on and off from childhood. The first year of Moo’s life was so difficult, my mind was so frazzled, I don’t think I could have put pen to paper if I tried. It’s an escape, it’s free therapy. Instead of sobbing my heart out, I’d write through the tears, eventually feeling a sense of release. Paper can’t answer back, it can’t question you, doubt you or judge you. It’s an ever listening ear, reliable, trustworthy, open 24 hours a day.

I love that what was once a private rambling exercise has now become a way to reach out to people. I love connecting with other parents with similar struggles. Knowing you’re not alone is a huge comfort. I started this page as a way to discuss breastfeeding as much as I wanted, without pissing off friends that found it monotonous, irrelevant or ‘offensive’. But it’s become so much more to me.

I wonder if Moo will read these one day, and realise that her mum is a total fruit cake.


Posted on September 15, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Heartfelt words. I find it incredible that PND can hit fresh or resurface years down the line. Like ‘normal’ depression, it certainly helps to read the symptoms so that you can act fast. As for the photo – a multi-tasker in every sense of the word.

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