Why Did I Get Up?
Weekends are my husbands turn. If Moo wakes in the night ) which she does at the moment), he gets up to see to her, to warm the milk and tuck her back in. It’s the only positive of bottle feeding that I can think of.
But tonight when she cried out, it was different. It was a cry of upset and panic, and I was immediately awake. She needed me. I’m usually a heavy sleeper, with my husband poking to rouse me to her moans. Moo wanted to be held for a long time tonight, clinging on like a koala bear. I rocked her and sniffed her hair as her little chubby hands stroked me. Moments like that won’t last forever. One day she’ll be grown, possibly comforting her own children. It’s incredible how many thoughts and images flash through your mind in those few minutes.
She’s snuggled back in now, with her cuddly toy of choice, flat Eric, talking to herself as she drifts back off to sleep. I’ll lay here for a while, just thinking. Pleased I could hold her when she needed me in the night, sad that there will come a time when she won’t.