Is This It?
Moo has just gone to bed without any milk.
For the last few weeks her intake has been less and less, I think introducing the cup meant that she couldn’t sleepily suckle any more. I wanted to try to lessen the pumping pressure. This past week bedtimes have been tough, with lots of fussing and indecisiveness about what she wants, standing up, crying when we leave the room. Last night she had a few sips. Tonight she didn’t want any.
Looks like it might be time to give up pumping. I have plenty left in the freezer in case she fancies a cup one night. I’m lost. It is literally the end of an era. I was prepared to keep going for many more months, even years. I have no worries about being the ‘hippy’ mum that breast feeds her pre schooler. But it looks like that won’t be happening.
I’m sad. It’s been a challenging, traumatic, emotional, wonderful ride. I’m damn proud of myself. And it might be over. My ‘breast feeding’ experience is no more. With it dies the hope of Moo magically latching on. A silly thought that never really went away.
There’s also a feeling of relief. No more money spent on prescription Domperidone and nipple creams, my boobs might make a return to the bedroom department, my nipples will have a chance to heal. I won’t be restricted by room temperature timings and fridges. I will never hear that awful buzzing noise again.
Now to implement a ‘winding down’ plan. I’ll shave 5 minutes off my pumping time next week.
I think I’ll have a little cry, too.