The Time Has Come

I’m writing this with a very heavy heart. As part of my mental health recovery I’m winding down the pumping. The doctor I saw this morning has advised it, and if I’m honest, I’ve had enough.

I knew that this was coming, and I’ve been lowering my dose of Domperidone. I’m only pumping about 5oz a day now, enough for Moos milk at bedtime. I’ll lower the Domperidone from 20mg a day to 10mg a day tomorrow, and in a few days I’ll drop it completely. I might aim for my last pump to be the 20th February, depending on any engorgement, which is very unlikely without the drugs. Moo will be 31 months on the twentieth of this month.

Moo needs a sane mother a million times more than she needs breast milk. Pumping first thing each morning isn’t helping me start my day right. But I am terrified that I’ll look back on this and be devastated that I quit when I did. I can only do what feels right at the time and not worry about ‘what ifs’, which is something that I struggle with.

Any tips about weaning would be welcome. Thank you for your continued support. I may not reply to every message, but I am reading.

Big love,

TPM.

Posted on February 7, 2014, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Hi,

    I can’t offer you any words of advice but this week I have stopped breastfeeding after winding it down for a month or so. Returning to work kind of forced my hand, and although I know I could have expressed during my lunch hour, I felt my well-being would have suffered because I wouldn’t have had any respite during the day (it would take all of my lunch to set up, express, store – you know the deal!). So, I thought after nine and a half months – and after a very difficult start – I had done my best for my little girl and that I just have to accept that it is over. She doesn’t seem remotely bothered (rude!) but I am dreading her next Health Visitor visit when they ask if I am breastfeeding and I will have to say “no”. I wanted to make the year, but unfortunately life and finances have got in the way.

    Basically I’m saying you are not alone, if that is of any help to you. You have done what you can and that is that. (Sorry to be blunt but I had a very straight-talking CB therapist once and she has changed my bedside manner forever!!)

    x

    • I like the direct approach – no time for fluffing it up here!

      Thank you for sharing your story with me. 9 months is just fabulous. I was blessed that I could fit pumping around my part time work, I don’t think I could have juggled both either. Dreading taking the pump with me had meant I’ve missed out on things. It’ll feel good to be free.

      Congrats on your 9 months! I hope your return to work goes smoothly.

  2. I’ve commented before but you’re a ninja! I only managed 22 weeks of exclusive pumping with DS and am 3 weeks in with DD. if it wasnt for a playpen (for DS) and watching Real Housewives of Orange County for me while pumping, I’d be going nuts! If I get to 24 weeks for DD, I’ll be delighted. You’ve done 31months!!! The vast, vast, vast majority if 31 month olds won’t be getting ANY breast milk at all so you’ve already far surpassed the vast majority if breast feeders

    Plus – not to state the flipping obvious, but you would have stopped breast feeding or pumping at sometime. So there is no reason to beat yourself up about it being now

    Xx

    • Excuse me?!? *Only* 22 weeks?!? I don’t think so! 22 weeks is a super long time! Please be proud.

      Thank you for all the love and support. The comments are keeping me going through some pretty dark times.

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